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Introducing the
Mind Principles

The three principles for mind which reflect our relationship with others are:

Principle 4: The effects of stress on our mind and body 

Principle 5: The importance of loving relationships 

Principle 6: Meeting our emotional needs, learning to express our feelings and healing emotional wounds 

Your relationship with others, your mind and emotions 

Finding and being able to receive the love and attention that we need is vital for health and wellbeing. It is also important to have a bright creative mind, unburdened by worry and emotional pain. Within these principles you will learn to recognise the stress or self-stressing that may be robbing you of your quality of life and wellbeing. You will learn how to improve your relationships, understand and get your emotional needs met and feel able to welcome and express your feelings. In this section we will also address the issue of over-giving, when we continually put others first; co-dependency where our mood, happiness or identity are dependent on another person, and becoming free of domination by others. As we tune into our mind and emotions, we develop emotional intelligence, understanding what we feel, what we need, and how to get our needs met. 

Principle 4 – Stress 

Some stress can be healthy, creating the necessary challenge for us to perform at our best. However, as stress rises we reach a plateau of peak performance, after which further stress takes us over into exhaustion, lower performance and eventually, burnout. We can also become stressed by under-achieving, experiencing feelings of failure, and by self-stressing, where we put immense pressure on ourselves to achieve, be perfect or please others.

When we are stressed or frightened, our bodies go into sympathetic nervous system overdrive known as the ‘fight or flight response’. This diverts our body’s resources to the brain and muscles at the expense of our ‘house-keeping’ functions - digestion, immunity, growth, repair and homeostasis (where the kidneys and liver bring our body chemistry into normal levels).  Coupled with all the physical effects of stress, is the reduction in well-being and peace of mind, as the mind races and panics; leading to depression and fatigue. High stress levels are now endemic in developed countries with one in two people feeling stressed, and with anxiety, depression and stress-related illness being the most common cause of sickness and absence for office workers. It is vital both as individuals and as a society that we stop accepting stress as the norm, and that we protect ourselves and each other from stress-related illness. With this will come the return to enjoyment, fulfilment and pleasure and increased productivity in our home and work lives. 

We will explore how you can reduce stress and self-stressing tendencies in your life, and how you can learn to self-regulate your physiology, using mind-body approaches like relaxation, meditation and mindfulness for keeping your stress levels under control, for greater performance, health and wellbeing. 

In this principle we will look at:

The impact of stress on our performance, body and mind
Stress, anxiety and overwork
The stress of underachieving
Learning the difference between external stress and self-stress
Recognising your stress levels 
Recognising when we are fearful and insecure
Relaxation to reduce stress and build resilience.
The importance of meditation and mindfulness
Planning to simplify your life; eliminating sources of stress
Getting out of severe stress

Principle 5 - Relationships 

The psychological and physical need for healthy, loving intimate relationships with others has been proven scientifically by cardiologist, Dr Dean Ornish. In his seminal book ‘Love and Survival’, and in his research at the Preventive Medicine Research Institute (www.pmri.com) Dr Ornish showed that the major protective factor against cardiovascular disease and heart attacks is the degree of love and care we have in our families, personal relationships and the communities in which we live and work. Many studies since have shown that developing and maintaining good relationships and feeling a sense of belonging in our communities and networks is as vital for our physical health as it is for our emotional well-being and fulfilment. 

In Principle 5 we will look at the question of whether we are getting the love and attention that we need and how we can extend our loving circle outside of our families and partnerships. This is important for all of us, but particularly for those who live alone, or are prone to loneliness and isolation, which is now considered to have the same level of health risk as smoking! Over 30% of adults in the UK live alone, risking isolation and loneliness. If this includes you, take special care to reach out to others, creating loving and caring bonds within your communities and networks to keep yourself well and happily connected to others. 

In this principle we will look at: 

The importance of love and intimacy 
Improving our relationship skills 
The nature of love and intimacy 
Having a good relationship with ourselves 
Recognising and improving unhealthy relationships 
Deepening our primary relationships 
Useful communication resources for improving relationships 
Finding love outside our partnerships and families

Principle 6 – Emotions 

Mind-body science has clearly demonstrated the importance of expressing our feelings and getting our emotional needs met. In holism we say ‘What the mind represses the body expresses’. It has long been known that when we fail to express our feelings we can become cut off, alienated or depressed, or physically ill. Mind-body science has shown us that depression and repression of our feelings also causes literal ‘depression’ of our tissue and immune functioning. People who repress their feelings have been found to be more vulnerable to illness and to have lower survival rates with serious illness such as heart disease and cancer. So, in Principle 6 we will be encouraged to feel and express our emotions, whether current or past, to take this load off our systems and ‘detox’ ourselves emotionally. 

It is also very important that we understand our emotional needs and learn how to get these met in healthy ways. So often, we turn to other sources of comfort such as food, alcohol, drugs, TV, overwork and gambling to sublimate our feelings. For health and wellbeing it is much better if we can understand our needs and become able to ask for what we need from others. Our emotional needs are as important as our needs for food, water and air and we can learn a great deal from the Human Givens approach which helps us to recognise and meet these vital human needs.

As we become more self-aware, we can learn to move ourselves up the ‘ladder of emotions’ described by author Jill Edwards in her book ‘Life is a Gift’, by using self-help practices to develop attitudes of peace, gratitude and loving kindness that bring us into a happier and more joyful state. Many other powerful tools such as meditation, practising forgiveness and gratitude, creating beauty and expressing our love to others will all take us up the ladder into a better and better state of mind and spirit. 

For some of us, some emotional healing may need to take place before we are able to lift ourselves emotionally. Many of us carry deep wounds as a result of neglect, abandonment, abuse, violence, and insecurity. From whatever origins our fears, worries, trauma and wounds come they need attention and healing. So, a really important part of principle 6 is to attend to our emotional wounds and find the therapy and support needed to heal, become whole and develop healthy self-esteem. 

In this principle we will address: 